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CRYING AND THROWING UP RN

A Guy Who Manifested Alcohol Poisoning In His Kitchen Sink, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

Molly Bradley
Molly Bradley
A Guy Who Manifested Alcohol Poisoning In His Kitchen Sink, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
This week we've also got a pundit who made a bizarre comparison between two athletes, a bunch of willfully incompetent dads and a self-righteous right-wing TikToker.
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Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week's characters include a guy concocting the world’s biggest future hangover in his kitchen sink, a pundit who made a bizarre comparison between two very different athletes, a bunch of men who become mysteriously incompetent when it comes to their children and a right-wing TikToker being inexplicably self-righteous toward Kehlani.



Last Week

Shawna

The character: Shawna, and his kitchen sink

The plot: If you’re going to make an alcoholic beverage, you might as well go big AND be at home. An account named Shawna shared a Twitter video that went viral, where a man literally throws in the kitchen sink. Drinks, ice, and more drinks. All in one big ol’ slush. Please do not try this at home, do not get alcohol poisoning and drink responsibly.



The repercussion: What do you think the repercussion was going to be? People clowned on this guy like it was going out of style! The jokes and replies were relentless.



Jared Russo



Monday

James Melville


The character: James Melville, political pundit, writer, guy who keeps getting recognized at his local butcher’s shop for being “James Melville from Twitter”

The plot: On Monday, Melville tweeted out a side-by-side collage of tennis player Novak Djokovic, who famously was deported from Australia for not getting vaccinated against COVID-19, and Muhammad Ali, the legendary boxer who risked his career by opposing the Vietnam War.

“Two sporting icons. Two different eras. But there is one huge similarity between Muhammad Ali and Novak Djokovic,” Melville said. “They stuck to their principles even when the world was trying to shut them down. They have both transcended sport with their bravery when under fire.”



The repercussion: Melville’s comparison of Djokovic to Ali went viral, but the overwhelming reception was not what he had hoped, getting ratioed to smithereens with many people pointing out that the tennis star suffered nary a setback for refusing to get vaccinated against COVID-19, whereas, in contrast, Ali was convicted of draft evasion and sentenced to five years in prison. (He also was fined $10,000 and banned from boxing for three years.)



But the coup de grace came from Olympic gold medal winner Michael Johnson, who shut down Melville’s comparison by bluntly replying, “BULLSH*T!”



James Crugnale



Tuesday

Dads

The character: A bunch of dads who, when asked for their emails by a mother trying to invite their kids to her three-year-old’s birthday party, gave her their wives’ emails instead

The plot: Sonya Bonczek, mother to a three-year-old child, recently stumbled into a social experiment without meaning to. When she ran into a few of her son’s classmates’ fathers, she asked for their emails to send invitations and information about her son’s birthday party.



Now: it’s obviously fine if one or the other parent in a couple is the person who usually handles their kid’s social schedule. No one is saying the mom can’t be that person. But we would all be playing a willfully ignorant game if we ignored the rigid gender roles inherent in these fathers’ automatic rerouting of things to do with their kids’ lives. There’s a point at which repeated coincidence becomes a distinct pattern.


The repercussion: Bonczek’s tweet garnered a lot of responses relating to the situation and bemoaning it, with many mothers (and fathers, too) emphasizing how frustrating it is that domestic and child-rearing work seems to automatically fall to the mother.

But there were also offshoots of the conversation that came about when some people responded to say that married men are right not to give out their email addresses to women that are not their wives, lest it seem shady. This also did not sit well with the majority of respondents, who pointed out that the assumptions underpinning that aspect of the gender dynamic are wrongheaded. The whole thing smacks of Mike Pence.

There were also respondents who indignantly pointed out all the reasons a man could not be expected to correspond by email about his child’s attendance at a birthday party, from selective memory dysfunction to reading disabilities — in which case, we can only assume their wives are doing a hell of a lot of additional planning and reading for these men in every part of their lives, and we hope they’re getting paid for it.





Molly Bradley



Wednesday

Christian Walker

The character: Christian Walker, RW TikToker, perennial main character

The plot: Christian Walker, conservative influencer and son of Herschel Walker, interrupted Kehlani, a musician and performer, when they both were on line at a Starbucks drive-thru.

Walker and Kehlani allegedly had an exchange of words. Walker claims they called him something disparaging, so he reacted by filming Kehlani and relaying a message to them.

“I’m tired of these fake woke people being rude to everyone and acting like they’re the good ones,” he wrote.



The repercussion: Walker is not new to controversy, or being the main character, and was appropriately piled on by the Internet. Kehlani’s cool and deadpan reaction quickly became a meme. It also looks like Walker, who hasn’t deleted old tweets, professed his love for Kehlani back in 2016.



Adwait Patil

———

Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a pop-psychologist refusing to delete a tweet to end his Twitter ban, a billionaire singlehandedly repopulating the US and more.

Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].

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